My 2020 year

Everyone is either cursing or trying to find the positive side of 2020. Some are learning various skills at home. I am sure this year has taught us many things. Some of you have lost their loved ones because of the corona. Some of you recovered from the dreadful virus.

Most importantly, we all are hoping for the year to end or to get the vaccine, whichever happens first. Well, unlike everyone, my 2020 became worst even before corona. So I feel proud to say that the corona was/is the not the only thing that has disappointed me.

I lost my two of my closest family members. I lost my grandmother right in front my eyes. I am not trying to get any sympathy. But after seeing few incidences, I have so many questions in my mind. When my grandmother was taken to the graveyard, we were hardly 7 of us over there. According to Hindu customs, the son has to do the final rites. But because of corona, my uncle couldn’t come. My mother did all the final rites. I was all the time with my mother. I really wonder how come a person gets the strength to set their loved person on fire. How can you do that?? How can you dress up someone for the last time?

You lived with that person. You shared your happiness and sorrows. You are the one who has to perform the last rites of your loved one. The fact that you are never going to see that person ever in your life makes it more difficult for me to accept the death as an unavoidable truth. When we reached the graveyard, there were at least 5 bodies burning. All I could see was fire everywhere. I really can’t forget that image ever in my life. One thing I realised was that nothing matters when you reach there. No amount of money/qualification/social status/caste/sex will change the fact that one day even you be here. And your loved one will set you on fire. After my mother performed the last rites, we left the graveyard leaving my grandmother all alone over there. Next day, I went to collect the ashes of my grandmother. My hands were shivering as I had to accept the fact that I can never see or hear her again. The person gave the ashes to me. My granny was in my hands. I brought her home. The ashes were kept at home for few a days. I really wanted to see what was there inside the clay pot. How is it possible for my granny to fit in inside a clay pot. I never touched it also once it was brought at home.

This whole incidence made me realise a few things. Honestly, it has changed me as a person also. Earlier, I used to get upset or pick up fight/argue with my loved ones even for the slightest issue. I used to be very upset with one aspect of my life. But now, I enjoy the moment instead of worrying. I try to understand other perspectives. And most importantly, I have understood that no one can make you happy if you wait for things to happen according to your way.

So be happy and don’t have any negative thoughts/grudges for anyone. Even if you hate someone, always remember that he/she will not bury/set you on fire. Your closest loved one is going to do that. So don’t hate anyone. Smile and spread the happiness around you.

A journey called Life

Positive affirmation #9

“Whatever happens in our life, it happens for a reason”, we all have heard this sentence from someone when we are going through difficult phase.

We try to question our life. We do, so many things just to know “why” it happened.

One bad experience and we bar ourselves from trying again. We don’t try, we don’t love, we don’t give ourselves an another chance.

We tend to forget that life has its own ways of teaching us its lessons.
Bad moments come complimentary with good ones and this how life GOES ON.

Yes. Our life has some undiscovered ways of teaching us many things. Instead of questioning everything, sometimes take it as an answer and move on in your life. We all have limited with us. Why waste our precious time in questioning?

Let bygones be bygones. Enjoy every moment of your life. The time moves even when you stop. Even this pandemic will go and once again. We all will get busy with our routine. So enjoy your journey.

Stay home and stay safe

Marriage – Union of two souls…Wait What!!

Marriage. What is Marriage? Why do people get married? How they can decide and select a person with whom they will spend their life? What if things don’t work out? What if you end up with the wrong person? What if you get the best person? How you can be with a person 24*7 for another 30-40 years? How can you decide about having kids with that person? There are tons and tons of questions in my mind.

My parents think its time for me to start looking out for boys and select my soul mate. So I agreed on their decision. Little did I know that finding a soul mate means finding a guy who is from my caste/religion/fair skin complexion/financially stable/ independent/ should be of my age/ economic status should be same (not too rich and average).

After going through all the filters, I realized that I am trying to find a guy who can match my parent’s expectations and not mine. Trust me, its very complicated tasks. When I was a kid, I thought marriage is about two people who decide to take care of each other in all the situations. Most importantly any two people who are in love can get married.

Sadly, no one is concerned about love. Someone said me, “If you pet a dog for one week, you will start liking it.. So if you start living with your partner, eventually you will fall in love with him”

Like really.. People compare human beings with animal😂 My god!! After all this research I have realised that I am not marriage material. I would love to be alone and enjoy my life.

PS- Can I get a guy who is genuinely looking for a soul mate?? 🤔

Shattered into pieces

Once again, I was shattered into pieces.

Every broken piece of mine, screaming to pierce you,

But my broken heart was protecting you,

There I was, standing all alone in the dark,

Looking at my shattered self-esteem and wondering “When did I make myself so vulnerable?”

And just then, I could see my reflection in the broken piece,

And thinking “Only if people could realise that we get only one life to make us and others happy. So why degrade someone in the name of religion or for money.”

In a world.

In a world, where people practice being happy,

To a world where people are actually happy….

In a world, where you meet someone and want to be with them for a lifetime,

To a world, where you meet someone and everyone else wants you to be with them for a lifetime.

In a world, where I found myself,

To a world, where I have to lose myself and be a part of the crowd.

In a world, where I have the courage to do what is right for me,

To a world, where I bow my head down and follow the herd.

In a world, waiting for the sun to shine,

To a world, where I am smiling and shining.

Somewhere between In a world and To a world, I lost myself.

Why we distance ourselves from certain people?

I am kind of a person who would like to be in a shell if things don’t work out for me. I distance myself from everyone and be alone for a very long time.

In that spare time, I try to imagine how things would have been if they turned out the way I wanted it to be. I furthermore think how other people might have helped me, instead of being an obstacle.

But today I realized that if I am going back to my shell instead of facing reality, I am making myself more vulnerable. There are many out there with whom we feel maintain distance. We go to great lengths to avoid them.

But why??? Why are we behaving in this fashion??? Are they really so bad or they have affected us so much that their mere shadow will annoy us???

Well, the fact is- It is not them. It is YOU.

Unless you let other people affect you, they cant affect you. You give them so much importance that they start bothering you even when they are not around.

All I am trying to say is – in these past few days, I have struggled to be alone. I didn’t want the victim. But guess what! My loneliness made me the culprit and my thought became the victim.

So a piece of advice- before taking off to an unknown island, just take a pause and think “Is it really worth it to leave everything” “Is it ok if I am vulnerable and others can influence me easily”


The Only One ♥

You are the only one

With whom I can smile..

You are the only one

With whom I can bare my soul..

You are only one

With whom I can share a bed..

You are the only one

With whom I can shed a tear..

You are the only one

Who can comfort me like a warm blanket in sickness..

You are the only one

Who acts as a ray of light in the darkness..

You are the only one

Who has held me from the past 10 years..

You are the only one

Who lights up my world like no one else..

Yes!! It’s YOU.


Positive Affirmation #8

They say… Hope is just like a Soap”

One has to use it regularly in order to be at the top of your life….

Well, it is true.

Every day gives you new hope to chase your dream. But you have to find it daily.

Just like we bathe every day and use exotic soap or shower gel to keep our body clean.

Similarly, we need to find hope to keep our mind refreshing.

So before stepping out, make sure you have your Hope to spread your charismatic personality and be a part of this amazing wonderful world.

Life 🤔

What is LIFE?

A ray of hope….Hope that one day everything will be fine and that one day all my wishes will be full filled.

A series of events…Events that very important in one’s life.

A big web of lies…Lies that you tell to yourself and others, when you put a fake mask and try to smile.but deep down you are broken like glass.

Waiting for tomorrow…Tomorrow when I will have what i want.

Struggling in the present to have a better future… A future which has all the luxury and comfort.

We,ll I have been wondering about this question from quite a few days. I really wonder what is the purpose of life?

Two little steps…

When I take two steps ahead,

You pull me four steps back…

When I take two steps ahead,

You pull my soul six steps back…

When I take two steps ahead,

You pull my ambitions eight steps back…

When I take two steps ahead,

You pull my desire to smile again ten steps back…

When I take two steps ahead,

You pull my yearn to take two steps ahead…

Just when I think of taking a step forward, you take me ten steps back and you break one my legs….

Reflect your dreams

Positive affirmation #7

Gandhi says: “We often become what we believe ourselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. When I believe I can, I acquire the ability to do it, even if I didn’t have it in the beginning”

Think what you want in your life and believe that you already have it.

Reflect your dreams in your words.

Let everyone around you be aware of your dreams.

And very soon you will have it.

Behave like a king if you want to be a king.

Believe that you live in a castle.

“Your perception will make things happen for you”

#Reflection time#

Dealing with Difficulty

Positive Affirmation #6

“If you’ve got somebody’s aspects in your experience that you don’t like, there’s only one reason they’re there. You keep evoking them with your attention to them”

You will have to deal with difficulty if you think about it.

It takes time to settle the dust after a storm but always thinking about the storm will not be helpful. People say that we should never forget the difficult.

My question is “Why we should even remember the difficult time?”

Unconsciously thinking about negative events evoke them. So let’s just think about the happy moments and cherish life.